


It Never Rains In California - Yeah Right

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: YOI Prompts Weekly [9]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Emil Either Has Crap Taste or Crap Luck In Guys, Jokes about Michele Being a Siscon, M/M, Masturbation, Michele Is Oblivious, OC Wedding, Storm - Freeform, Stuck In The Mud, background Mila/Sara - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Esperanza de la Iglesia is getting married, and everyone's there except Leo, who has somehow managed to piss off the weather gods enough that it's raining in California.  His car slides off the road and gets stuck in the mud.  Emil volunteers to go rescue him and discovers Leo's... interesting... choice of ways to pass the time.





	It Never Rains In California - Yeah Right

**Author's Note:**

> Written for YOI Prompts Weekly, Week of November 13th  
> Pairing: Emil Nekola/Leo de la Iglesia  
> Prompts:  
>  **• 1. Masturbation**  
>  **• 2. Stuck in the rain**  
>  **• 3. Rope** (Ish - it became chains instead)  
>  **• 4. Weddingfic**  
>  **• 5. Drama**

The storm blew up out of nowhere, and Emil ran to look out the window. “Holy shit. That’s one bad storm.”

“Good thing the wedding’s indoors, then,” Viktor said. “Everyone’s here, right?”

“No.” Yuuri smacked Viktor’s shoulder. “We’re missing the bride’s best man, you airhead!”

“Oh, right! Where is he?”

“Driving in from the airport. Flight trouble – at least he got to California.” Guang Hong looked out the window. “Driving in that must suck. I hope he’s okay.”

Esperanza came out, completely ignoring her wedding gown only being half on. “Leo just called me. His car went off the road, and he’s stuck in the mud. Can anyone go help him, or should I call a tow truck?”

Emil got up. “I got this.” He stuck his tongue out at Michele. “And you made fun of me for renting a pickup. This is America!”

“It’s not Texas! You’re still ridiculous,” Michele shot back.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Esperanza asked.

Emil grinned at her. “I’ve been mudding a couple times. You learn quickly. And since I was planning on going mountain climbing after the wedding, I’ve even got everything I need in the truck. Don’t worry, I’ll get your brother here one way or another.”

“Thank you.” Esperanza hugged Emil, texted him Leo’s location, and sent him on his way.

 

With the rain, it was a half-hour drive to get to Leo. The bright red car wasn’t hard to spot in the mud by the side of the road, and Emil pulled over beside it. He changed quickly into the jeans and hiking boots he had in his truck – Espy would be more likely to forgive the delay than the mud on his suit. The mud was hard to slog through, but he was stubborn enough to get out to the truck.

When he got there, he waved to Leo and got ignored. He knocked on the windshield, and continued to get ignored. He took a closer look at Leo and started laughing. He pounded hard on the door and then noticed it was unlocked. He wrenched it open. “LEO!”

“Wha…” Leo finished what he was doing, and Emil groaned.

“That’s gonna be a bitch to clean up.”

“Emil!” Leo reached for the towel on the seat beside him and started wiping cum off the wheel. “What the hell are you… how did you get here so fast? I was thinking I had another ten minutes easy!”

Emil pointed to his truck. “And you decided that jerking off was the right thing to do while you waited for someone to get you to your sister’s wedding? Do I have to start calling you Michele?”

Leo smacked him with the towel. “No. God no. Are you here to help me or make fun of me?”

“I came to help you, but you know me, I will take any opportunity I get to make fun of someone.” Emil took a look around the car. “Looks pretty deep, but I think I can haul you out. Might cause some damage to your car, so if you’d rather wait for a tow truck…”

“My sister is getting married. Get me there. My car can be fixed or replaced.”

“All right. Finish getting your car cleaned up, I’m not explaining to Esperanza what her brother was doing while he waited for me.”

Leo laughed and went back to cleaning up his mess. Emil walked back to the truck and got it in position to pull Leo out, and then ran chains to Leo’s axle. “All right. Sit tight, keep your foot off the brakes and gas, wait until I say.”

“All right.” Leo leaned back.

“And keep your hands off the wheel - but also out of your pants, you idiot!”

“You’re the boss, asshole.” Leo put his hands up over his head.

Emil shook his head and started up his truck. Getting Leo’s car out on the road wasn’t that hard. The only problem was that he was facing the wrong way. Emil hopped out of his truck and collected the chains. “You good, Leo?”

“Yeah, thanks. I really appreciate this. You okay?”

“Yeah, think I may skip the wedding and go take a shower instead. Esperanza won’t mind me missing, but you…”

“Go take a shower, huh? Jerking off while my sister’s getting married?” Leo teased.

Emil laughed and just barely stopped himself from smacking Leo and getting mud on him. “Hey, she’s not my sister, she’s my friend’s sister. Bit surprised I was invited in the first place – although that worked out very well.”

Leo chuckled. “You were invited because she’s got this crazy idea that I need to hook up with Sara, which meant inviting both Crispinos, and I told her that you were the best bet for distracting Michele. Not that it’s going to work, but hey, I get to see friends I wasn’t expecting to.”

Emil punched Leo’s shoulder, mud be damned. “Have you tried explaining to your sister that Sara’s lesbian?”

“I’ve tried. She keeps insisting that bisexuality is a thing and how do I know if I don’t try?” Leo shook his head. “And yes, I’ve tried explaining to her that yes, I know bisexuality is a thing, I’m bi myself, but Sara is _not_.”

“If you decide to try to get with Michele, good fucking luck. Boy’s dense.”

“Oh fuck no. I know he's your best friend, but dude is creepy." Emil gave a rueful huff. "No luck for you?” Leo said sympathetically.

“Nope. I’m officially done. Sara’s been with Mila for three years and Michele still can’t get through his head that he doesn’t need to protect her from the boys and he can go find his own.”

“That sucks, dude.”

“Better than my last breakup." Leo gave him a questioning look. "Asshole strung me along for three years and then dumped me to get into a ‘real’ relationship. I still have no idea who I got dumped for, it’s some big secret.”

“ _Dude._ What’s with you and people who won’t give you an answer?”

“I dunno. What about you? Obviously not Sara, but you got anyone you are interested in?”

“Nope.”

“You know there’s a betting pool about you and Guang Hong, right?”

“Yeah. Also one for me and Phichit, and one for Guang Hong and Phichit. Only winning bet is ‘never’. Phichit’s got a boyfriend that he won’t talk about but swears he’s gonna marry someday and Guang Hong’s straight.”

Emil hid the flinch at the mention of Phichit and hoped Leo didn’t connect the dots. “Hey. I got a wedding to get you to, but after the celebration and everything’s cleaned up, you wanna go get a drink?”

Leo's eyebrows shot up. “You asking me out?”

“Sure, why not? Even if you say no, it’s better than my last guys.”

Leo shook his head. “What the hell. Why not. I promise if I don’t think it’s gonna work, I’ll tell you right away instead of being oblivious or an asshole.”

 

They were just about to give up and start without Leo when they arrived. Leo, at least, looked respectable enough to walk. Emil apologized to Esperanza and went back to the hotel.

Once the reception was done and cleaned up from, Leo brought a bottle of tequila to Emil’s room. “I know you said go out for a drink, but I’m exhausted, and you’re the one who did all the work hauling my ass out of the mud.”

“Works for me. Hope you don’t mind the fancy glasses.” Emil got two plastic cups from the bathroom and filled them both. “Cheers!”

"Here's to something simple, straightforward, and full of communication!" Leo clicked his plastic cup against Emil's.

**Author's Note:**

> For the history of Emil's asshole semi-ex: [Sneaking Around](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12784104). I felt so bad about that I had to give him a happier ending.


End file.
